Brokaw for President

Well folks. Learned your balls off at that debate, didn’t you? Oblame-o and McLame were rife with information, eager to tell you exactly, yes exactly, how they were going to do all the marvelous things they promise. Think, people. Did you hear one thing you didn’t know?

The star of the show was Tom Brokaw. He had all the good lines. And they were impromptu, triggered by the unlawful behavior of the combatants, who refused to obey the agreed-upon rules of the war. Brokaw was the only one who wasn’t scripted. The others were like junior high school dramatists, choked full of their lines, which have now lost their meaning and so come out on their own, in all the wrong places, with words omitted or strangely out of place in the sentence.

You noticed it about the Sarah Palin machine, but did you notice it about the Barack and John robots? Let’s forget it people, these two aren’t going to give us anything. Not the truth, and not respect.

The people they pounced on in the audience must have thought they’d lost their minds. These guys don’t know how to deal with individuals. The people out there are just representatives of types. They keep getting it wrong, talking to a guy who may be a banker himself, as if he’s just defaulted on his mortgage, lost his home and is living in a sewer somewhere with his family. The only genuine moment is when McLame gets a hand on a veteran, and then you have to be afraid he’s going to hump him, he’s so anxious to show his love. It may be real, John, but keep it in your tweeds.

I hope no kids were listening. These people are lousy role-models. They don’t answer the question. Even if they can. They’re afraid if they say something off-the-cuff, in other words give an honest answer, all hell will break loose.

So instead, they settle for memorized answers that are fed into them even while they sleep. When they babble before answering, they’re searching for the right one. If it takes too much time to come, they settle for the next one that cycles up and give it to us with a straight face, as if that’s what they were asked. But part of the way through, the “right” answer to the question rolls around to the front of their heads and starts to come out of their mouths, interrupting the “wrong” answer that was already in progress. There’s where the half-sentences come, or the totally irrelevant remarks.

Are you guys buying it? How about McLame when he said he knows how to do everything, but can’t tell you anything about it because the enemy might hear. I’ll buy that for war, but not for Wall Street. And anyway, he tells us he knows how to capture Bin Ladin. But don’t you think if he really knew how he’d have mentioned it to somebody privately?

How about Oblame-o, whose generalities are so bright and beautiful you could sail across the ocean on them, but who never gave us one particular – like the fifteen billion dollar-a-year investment which will in ten years free us from dependence on foreign oil. We have no idea what the investment is, or how it will do it. However, having just spent a hundred times that much on Wall Street bailouts, doesn’t it seem if the price was that cheap it would have been done?

Let’s face it. It’s not about either one of these dummies. So which ventriloquist are you voting for?