Obamamamamia! Do they love him! He does not resemble anybody they ever knew. They would not have believed he could exist. That long, sepulchral face, the all but visible bones behind the matte, yet glistening, gray-brown skin, the eerie, almost off-putting yet utterly captivating and compelling, extra length of his elongated Valentine space-alien chin. Is Barack Obama from another world? Has he been planted here to save us? Suddenly we’re sitting up and primping, taking our eyes off each other and letting them melt all over Barack. He says some things we don’t like. Does it matter? Here is someone wrought by a superior sculptor. Maybe beauty is more than skin deep.
But wait. I have been privileged to see a grainy black-and-white clip (looked like a cell phone vid) of Anne Coulter, and damn, if she doesn’t have the very same face. Long, long, long, down to her chin and beyond – thin, thin, thin, with those impossibly high, all-but-external cheekbones, and a long, lithe body to match his.
Not that I’m in the match-making business, but if I were, I’d nominate these two human beings to begin a new race, to replace all these inferior jobbies we’ve got around now – short races, fat races – let’s make them all tall and thin. Real tall. And real thin. I don’t know if it’s just me, or a sign of the changing times, but previously I gave this role to Michael Jordan and Sophia Loren. Stately people who look good in a suit.
Anne Coulter is getting what-for for being herself. At the same time, Hillary is being bashed for not being herself. Anne had the audacity and filthy mouth to say that she would call John Edwards a faggot if she were allowed to use the word, which of course she did. Tucker Carlson enlightened us with the commentary that she once called Gore a faggot. And, ha, ha, believe it or not, said Tucker, she once called me a faggot! And I have four kids! Well, Tuck, the term faggot does not refer to where you stick it, it refers to a demeanor, and you’ve got it, and so does Gore. The girl’s got a gift.
Poor Hillary, on the other hand, everyone says has no gift of gab. She and Bill hurried on down to
Barack, a little less forgivably, perhaps, also came out swinging with a “Y’all…”
Well, why not? Say it. Right now. Say it. Out loud. “Y’all…” Don’t that feel goooooooood? So why not? What they want to do is reach the people. Really reach them. It’s better than liquor, isn’t it? They could get you drunk. Or, they can verbally steal into the receptive part of your brain, the at-home part, where enemies are not expected, and you don’t have to be on guard. You can relax. And enjoy. Which I’m sure they did. It’s infectious – like gospel music – if you haven’t hardened your heart.
